For Holmgren, life is a home game
By JIM MOORE
P-I COLUMNIST
Two are stay-at-home moms on the Eastside, and one is a lawyer on leave from the King County Prosecutor's Office because she just had a baby. The fourth sister is a doctor who tends to sick pregnant women in Salt Lake City, and she's a mom, too. They're all talkative blondes.
These are Mike Holmgren's daughters. They have given him six grandchildren. They have given him joy. They have given him advice. And still do.
"We got after him a couple years ago because we thought he was getting a little bit predictable (with his play-calling)," said Calla Holmgren, the Salt Lake City obstetrician and gynecologist. "We were like, you know, there are only so many times you can run a draw."
After another game, Calla told her dad: "It would be great if Matt (Hasselbeck) audibled to a pass. Do you have any pass audibles?"
"Yeah," her dad said.
"Really?" Calla said. "It always looks like he audibles to a run."
One more thing, Coach -- if you don't sign Bobby Engram to an extension, she might have to root for another team.
"He's my favorite player," Calla told him. "You better figure that one out."
For their entire lives, they've been watching their dad coach football, bouncing from the Bay Area to Provo, Utah, then back to San Francisco with subsequent stops in Green Bay and Seattle.
I have not met them in person, but they sounded like a whole lot of fun on the phone. Calla and Jenny are 34-year-old identical twins. Calla has the oldest grandchild, Emma, 8; and Jenny has two daughters, Emerson, 6, and Isabell, 2.
Emily, 31, the other stay-at-home mom, has two kids: Mary, 4, and Luke, 5 months. Gretchen, 27, the on-leave lawyer, added the sixth grandchild when she gave birth to Michael a month ago.
Holmgren was the only male in the family for more than 37 years, with four daughters and four granddaughters arriving before Luke did in April. Emily scheduled a C-section for 7:30 in the morning, and Holmgren was there, anxious to hold his first grandson.
Then came Michael, who was 9 pounds, 6 ounces when he was born.
"My dad was the only one who made him look like a small baby when he held him," said Gretchen, who is married to Matt Peterson, the University of Washington's program coordinator for football recruiting. "It was very important for us to name our son after him, because everyone had made such a big deal about him having four daughters."
That intense grizzly bear of a man you see on the sidelines melts around his grandkids. He reads to Mary, and after Luke was born, Holmgren and his wife, Kathy, took Mary on weekend outings to give Emily and her husband a break.
One time when his wife and daughters went out for lunch, Holmgren volunteered to baby-sit three of the granddaughters. Jenny expected a phone call that never came -- when the women returned, there were no signs of chaos. Holmgren and the kids were all quietly reading.
"He had a very close relationship with his own grandparents," Kathy said. "He lived with them when he was little. He knows how important the bond is."
'He's a good listener'
On TV, you'll see Holmgren swearing and appearing to have a terrible temper. You'll hear him called "The Big Show" and expect an ego to match his size. At home, the spotlight's on everyone else. He's quiet and rarely gets mad. Emily said he's a softie.
If he wants to get a word in, he can't. Surrounded by females for nearly four decades, Holmgren is outnumbered 5-to-1.
"They're all very chatty," his wife said of their daughters.
On top of that, "he's got a wife who talks nonstop," Gretchen said.
Holmgren is the typical guy, taking it all in and none of it in at the same time.
"He's a good listener," Kathy said. "What I've learned over the years, even if he's not listening, he pretends to listen."
As parents, he and Kathy were a team.
"We learned very early that we'd never be able to play on
Added Emily, "We always knew if one said no, they both said no."
They also knew to never cross their mom -- that's the one thing that really upset their dad. Because of his coaching responsibilities, Holmgren couldn't be at home as often as many fathers. He made it to some of Jenny and Calla's field-hockey games and missed others. They understood.
"You hear about kids being terrible and having a tough time because the dad was never home ... I don't buy that," Calla said. "My dad worked really hard. He always made a very concerted effort to be there when we needed him."
That hasn't changed. Calla recently told him that her landscapers were driving her crazy.
"You want me to call them and take care of it?" he asked.
A city kid at heart
Trying to produce a Super Bowl champion during his final year as the Seahawks' coach, Holmgren is a busy man. But when his daughters call, he always has time for them.
When they were growing up, Thursday nights were family nights and everyone had to be home. Valuing their own time together, the Holmgrens did not vacation with other families.
"They were strict about family time," Emily said. "It was sacred time almost."
When the girls were little, the Holmgrens went on camping trips in a Volkswagen van that was straight out of the movie "Little Miss Sunshine." Jenny joked that it was held together by duct tape, but it meant a lot to Holmgren.
"He was so sad when he had to get rid of that car," Emily said.
They drove to Banff, Alberta, and frequently went to D.L. Bliss State Park at Lake Tahoe, Calif. They pitched tents and hung out with Mother Nature, which is funny when Jenny thinks about it now.
"In Green Bay, people thought he looked like an outdoors guy because he was tall and big and had a moustache," she said. "But he's not. He's a city kid."
Jenny said Holmgren caught the first fish of his life last year. Not a salmon in Alaska, not a marlin in Mexico. Somewhere in the Seattle area, Holmgren took Jenny's daughter Emerson to a fish farm and reeled one in. Then he didn't know what to do with it.
Another man asked him, "Are you going to take the fish off the hook?"
To which Holmgren replied, "You wanna do it?"
All of the daughters recalled special times with their dad. Gretchen was a big Indiana Pacers fan when the Holmgrens lived in Green Bay. During her sophomore year in high school, her dad took her to Indianapolis for a Pacers game. While they were there, they went to Nordstrom, and he bought her a prom dress.
"Woman after woman would go by him outside the dressing room and ask, 'How do we get our husbands to do this?' " Gretchen said.
Nuts about football
For the past nine years, Holmgren and three of his daughters have shared many fall Sundays in Seattle. Jenny and Emily watch their dad's team from a suite at Qwest Field while Calla watches by satellite from Utah. Gretchen is on the sideline taking pictures. Kathy goes, too, but gets so nervous that she can't stay, choosing to walk through Pioneer Square or take a ferry ride until the game ends.
They're football nuts. Gretchen is the most knowledgeable. "She's like Dad in a female form," Calla said. Every year she'll map out various playoff scenarios on spreadsheets. Of the four, she gets the most upset after defeats.
Emily misses many plays because she's concerned about how they'll turn out. Her husband has to tell her what happened. She'll get so worked up for playoff games that she'll sleep through them.
"That's how my body reacts (to stress)," Emily said. "I'd rather tune it out and just wait for the end result."
Emily is the one who worries most about how her dad is doing after a loss. She'll call him at work and leave a philosophical message for him. To avoid possible criticism of her dad, she doesn't listen to sports radio or read newspapers.
"He's got really thick skin, but I don't," Emily said. "At Green Bay, they'd shout things at my dad. I'd retreat or get furious. A side of me comes out that's not very nice. It's not going to hurt his feelings, but it's my dad."
When Calla watches games, she yells at her TV. "My daughter calls me the angry blonde woman," she said.
Calla and Gretchen get so worked up that they can't watch a game together. "They will do each other bodily harm," Jenny said.
Calla's sisters know better than to pick up the phone when she calls during a game. She'll be angry about something.
After the preseason game against the Bears, Jenny talked with Calla and told her she thought quarterback Charlie Frye played well.
"After he threw three interceptions?" Calla said. "Really? Three interceptions is a lot."
Jenny doesn't think it helps to yell. "I try to be more pragmatic," she said. "There are certain things you can control. Watching a football game, you have no control."
Jenny and Calla are twins whose thoughts about the Super Bowl loss to the Pitts-
burgh Steelers are identical, too.
"What can you do about referees?" Jenny said. "You can't get mad about it. It doesn't change it."
That's where the pragmatism ended.
"I've been to a lot of football games and obviously I'm not completely without bias, but I've never seen a major sporting event with that kind of refereeing," Jenny said. "You just want it to be consistent for both sides, and I thought it was inconsistent."
Calla still has not seen the game. She was in the Congo with her mom on a relief mission when the Super Bowl was played. She got news of the outcome from Jenny.
"She just said the refs were horrible and Jerramy Stevens didn't play very well," Calla said. "She told me, 'Don't watch the game,' so I won't."
You think officials bother Holmgren from time to time? You should hear Calla. She has no use for most of them.
"Even Ed Hochuli, who's good-looking," she said. "I think they're incompetent."
Not the retiring type
It will be strange next year when Calla will have no reason to yell at anyone anymore. Kathy can't imagine a fall without football, and neither can her daughters. But they're glad it's coming.
As much as he loves football, their dad is a well-rounded man with many interests. He wants to golf and play his guitar and ride his Harley and spend more time with his grandkids. He's never been on a cruise before, so he'll take one to Alaska. He plans to drive across Canada and will probably sing along to music on the radio. Holmgren has a strong baritone voice -- he sang at the baptisms of Emily's children, Mary and Luke.
He'll take more walks with his 11-year-old bulldog, Maxine, and read more books. Holmgren enjoys crime novels and thrillers by Michael Connelly and Stuart Woods. "He and Mom will talk about characters like they're real," Jenny said.
He'll watch more "Jeopardy." It's his favorite show. His best categories are movies and pop culture. You can't call when "Jeopardy" is on because Holmgren and his wife won't answer the phone.
And he'll lose more weight. Since starting with Jenny Craig in March, Holmgren has dropped 31 pounds. He won't say what his goal is, but it sounds as if you won't recognize him if he reaches it.
"This lady (at Jenny Craig) was telling him what his ideal weight should be, and it was
a ridiculous number," Jenny said.
"I don't think that's right," Holmgren told the lady.
"Don't worry, Coach, we'll get you there," she said.
He replied, "I haven't weighed that since sixth grade."
In a recent interview, Holmgren said, "It's hard, because I like to eat, and I like cold beer."
But Emily said: "He's been so disciplined. He looks great. He's kind of swimming in his clothes now."
Added Calla, "He looks like a shrunken man."
After the season ends, Holmgren and his wife will spend the rest of the winter at their home in Phoenix. Los Angeles Angels owner Arturo Moreno is his next-door neighbor, and former Chicago Cubs second baseman Ryne Sandberg lives across the street.
The Holmgrens are building a home near Santa Cruz, Calif., where they will live during the summertime. When next fall rolls around, they plan to return to their waterfront condo in Kirkland.
Asked if he would go to Seahawks games, Holmgren said: "I don't know. That might be a little hard on me." He figures he's more apt to watch the games on TV "and root for the guys."
The unknowns of retirement are appealing to him. "I am open to learn stuff about myself," he said. But his daughters already know their dad. They don't think he can be idle for long. Kathy knows he can't.
For three of the five weeks that Holmgren was off this summer, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.
"He went into the office when he didn't have to," Kathy said.
Said Jenny, "He'll need to be productive doing something."
Maybe he'll become a coach or general manager somewhere else. Maybe he'll get into broadcasting and become the next John Madden. Or maybe he'll find a new hobby or a bookstore to run.
"In my mind, I'm not retiring for good," said Holmgren, 60.
He has committed to taking a full year off, but at least one gambling Web site is skeptical. At Bodoglife.com, you can bet on what Holmgren will be doing during the first week of the 2009 season, listing NFL GM as a slight favorite at 5-2 over Out of Football (3-1), Media (11-4), NFL coach/GM (11-4) and NFL coach (4-1).
"I think he thinks Bill Parcells has a pretty good setup in Miami," Gretchen said.
Whatever happens, his daughters will support him. They welcomed the opportunity to reveal the Mike Holmgren they know, the one who's dad to them, not some big-time football coach.
Emily laughed when she talked about her dad playing in a celebrity golf tournament. He told her about some of the stars who were there, and she asked him, "Who's the celebrity in your foursome?"
"It's me," Holmgren told her.
"It's hard for me to think of him that way," Emily said.
His kids see him as a man who face-paints with their kids and makes everyone feel special.
"He really is a wonderful person," Emily said.
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